So yeah, I am home finally. I am glad that I am back and I am really tired.
My mum also said that she wants me to go back in therapy because she believes that I am struggling too much with the person I like. She wants me to find a way to deal with it, but tbh I don’t want to go back to that place.
I know that it is not good to be too attached to someone, but what if this person is just the only thing that wants to make you breath. I can’t think of actually anything else to make myself live for. I don’t want to fail and end it all, but I am really afraid that I will if I lose that feeling.
I am so sad that i’m going back into therapy. I honestly wish I was dead right now, but I am not. Maybe that is the positive thing right now. That I am actually not dead.
The isn’t really anyone who needs me, but I am here. Living the life that I never imagined to live. I am starting to feel better, although I have been quite sad the last days.
I’ve stopped doing so many bad things and I think I can honestly say I changed. But I don’t understand that I need to go in therapy for liking someone.
She says that she wants to understand it better and wants to teach me how to handle these things. But I am already trying to figure out how to do this. How to let go.
Because i have a feeling that I won’t be talking for a very long time with you anymore. I want to help you and I am here for you, but you won’t make use of it.
I wish I had someone to hug right now, but there isn’t anyone. That’s probably also my fault. Anyways, goodnight.